My Evening With David Sedaris

A year and a half ago, David Sedaris came to Riverside.  After an evening of searching for dingos, diary entries from Japan, and an answer to the universal question – are zombies Republicans or Democrats – I waited in line with a hundred of my closest friends for five seconds of face time with the man himself. I clutched my paperback copy of Me Talk Pretty One Day, the tome…

October 25, 2008

But Ian’s biggest problem is that he’s about to start college as a virgin!

That, folks, is a line from the summary of Sex Drive, opening Friday. A line which is just ridiculous because everyone knows you can’t graduate high school unless your cherry’s been popped; hell, you can’t go to Prom unless you’ve been to third base, forget about a diploma. Oh, the horror, the horror of starting college without having been laid! I have nothing against movies about losing one’s virginity;…

October 15, 2008

Get Her Words Out

I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting my words out lately, a phenomenon that always reminds me of an episode of Wonderfalls where a woman named Binky, who has a stutter, goes Single White Female on the show’s lead, Jaye Tyler.  Jaye, who receives instructions from inanimate objects shaped like animals, is told to, “Get her words out.”  Turns out Binky’s an undercover reporter.  Still crazy, though, and Jaye ends…

September 12, 2008

Putting the "Hollywood" in Hollywood Jane

Out of the last four trips to my local Coffee Bean, I’ve seen Mark Feuerstein three times.  Guess that qualifies him as a regular.   Whew, I have been kept busy lately – so busy, I don’t even remember everything I’ve done the past few days.  Though I did make an excursion to the boiling desert of Riverside yesterday.  I got to see Noel, which was nice.  One of my…

August 6, 2008

The Kindness of Strangers

One of the unfortunate truths about this blog is that as I am a fairly dull person, there is a chance that this will become a very dull blog.  I’ll make every effort to keep that from happening, but the risk is there.  I don’t go out and have one-night stands with men or women of dubious natures, I’ve never driven south of the border just for drugs or the…

July 12, 2008

Two Jobs and a Dog

I haven’t seen any of my friends in what seems like ages.  I’ll have to remedy that, though it looks like my time will be occupied in the immediate future. I got a job as a part-time assistant to my former professor, Reza Aslan.  I got to call one of the head honchos of Scientology and accept a collection of L. Ron Hubbard’s books for the UCR Eaton Science Fiction…

July 5, 2008

And the Rest.

It’s hard to believe it’s already Wednesday.  This usually happens to me when I’m on vacation – by the time I get around to the post-trip wrap-up, I’ve been home for days, even weeks – and on one occasion, months – before I finish. After my spin around the lagoon in the Public Gardens, I returned to the hotel for a little R&R, then decided that I was going to…

July 2, 2008

They Sure Do Love Their Dunkin Donuts

I haven’t given up on this blog – there’s just been a lack of internet access.  Fourteen bucks for 24 hours in this hotel, sheesh! Now I’m at the Hilton Back Bay, enjoying my king-sized bed (I love this bed, I don’t ever want to leave it), and the city of Boston.  I have a flight out of Logan Airport pretty early in the morning, so this is more or…

June 30, 2008

Celebrations and Regrets

My great-aunt saw them on T.V., just like George Takei and Brad Altman, or those eighty-year-old lesbians.  My uncle Steven and his partner Ciro just got married thanks to the California Supreme Court. I’m very happy for them, but the news is somewhat tainted by the fact that we’re no longer on speaking terms.   Arguments always seem silly when you can’t remember how they started, but are worse when…

June 18, 2008

What do you do with a BA in English?

You start a blog, of course. The Avenue Q soundtrack seems to have been written for my life – if my life was performed by puppets.  One day after my very last college course, and 10 days before my official graduation with a BA in creative writing from the University of California, Riverside, I find myself in bed with a box of Chocolate Chex watching old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes…

June 5, 2008