Hollywood Jane and the Dog Park

The small park just behind the Trader Joes and myriad of Russian shops along Santa Monica isn’t “technically” a dog park.  In fact, there’s an official green sign that insists dogs should be on leashes, and cops from the Department of Parks and Recreation drive past every so often with nothing better to do than hand out tickets, but every evening, usually after rush hour traffic has subsided, dogs and…

March 17, 2009

My Academy Award Acceptance Speech for Best Screenplay

First of all, I have to thank my mother, because if I didn’t thank her first she’d never let me forget it.  And I thank my father – I have the best parents possible, who have given me every opportunity, encouraged me, and never tried to dissuade me from life as a writer, even though it probably meant I’d be living with them forever. Watching the Oscars every year as…

February 22, 2009

Entering the 3RD DIMENSION!

Apparently 3-D is back – trouble is, no one missed it.  Between last year’s Journey to the Center of the Earth, this season’s heart-warmer My Bloody Valentine, and next week’s post-Superbowl “Chuck vs. the Third Dimension,” Hollywood seems to think that this 3-D is the next big thing. Yeah…maybe in the 1950s. I love Chuck and I want it to have high ratings, which is why I have a really…

January 28, 2009

Dear Craigslist: atheist4acceptance – 23 – Willing to Bargain Down to 30 Pieces of Silver

SWF with Bachelor’s Degree from respected California university seeks tolerance and/or good will.  Phi Beta Kappa.  Doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, have sex, or believe in God.  Only vice is swearing, mostly to fill void.  Loves dogs and other furry animals.  Can’t stand shellfish.  Has never stolen, been arrested, cheated, or committed adultery.  Murder is plotted in fiction only.  Does lie on occasion, but always feels guilty afterwards –…

November 8, 2008


I wrote this two years ago, for my first creative non-fiction class.  Today a doctor told me he would schedule me for surgery.  This is my seventh, for the same condition.  * Fifty-fifty, the doctor tells her.  There’s a fifty percent chance her husband could pass it on. His father has it, and his father’s father, probably. His younger sister escaped, healthy except for the cigarettes she smokes, and his…

November 6, 2008

Further Opinions of a Fag Hag

Since the initial surge post-Dr. Horrible has passed, I don’t know how many people will see this, or even if I have anything new to say, but it needs to be said.  Or written. I should be ecstatic today, walking on air, whatever else it is you do when you finally have hope, but there’s this unfortunate weight around my neck called Proposition 8 that keeps me from full celebration.  I blame…

November 5, 2008

I Suddenly Developed an Interest in Politics (And You Can Too!)

I had a dream the other night that my mother told me my vote in the presidential election didn’t count. In the polling booth made of gingerbread I looked at my ballot, voted ‘No Thank You’ on all the propositions I could see, couldn’t find Prop 8, and when it came time to pick the next leader of our country, there wasn’t a bubble for Barack Obama on my Scantron….

November 3, 2008

Confessions of a Fag Hag

Um, wow, if I’d known I was going to have 1000+ visitors from Whedonesque yesterday, I would have dressed for the occasion.  Thank you to whoever linked me, it absolutely made my day.  Unfortunately the sudden increase in traffic detoured me from NaNoWriMo – I’m something of a review whore, so instead of digging through middle school memories, I kept refreshing the page to watch my blog stats rise.  I…

November 2, 2008