Outside the Box

Facebook is a lousy, no-good, meddling Yenta. I can’t update my status, post photos on my Wall, or play a simple game of Bejeweled Blitz™ without the site trying to fix me up with strange men, “suggesting” we become friends just because we have an acquaintance in common. If the virtual blind dates weren’t bad enough, the website is constantly trying to get me laid with its sidebar ads for…

April 12, 2010
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There’s a God for That

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April 8, 2010

With the Greek pantheon, you just know you can always find what you’re looking for in terms of divine intervention. Problems in the bedroom? Bitch to Aphrodite. Desperate to cure that irritating skin condition? Consult Apollo. Can’t pay off that loan shark? Hades’ll take care of you. Whatever the problem, there’s a god for that.

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Where You At?

You may have noticed I’ve been a little sparse in the blogging department lately. The reason for that is largely attributed to the fact that I’ve been working on material that I one day hope to profit from. Not that I don’t love my blog and my readers, but, well, a girl’s gotta eat, and believe it or not, I operate this blog out of the kindness of my own…

November 30, 2009
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How It Feels to Be Atheist Me

A class exercise inspired by Zora Neale Hurston’s “How It Feels to Be Colored Me.” It is quiet, often silent. Most of the time, nobody knows, nobody asks, everyone assumes. I must believe in God, I am an American. I am a Jew. I am the granddaughter of a Roman Catholic. When I tell them, if I tell them, they deny me my right to be what I am, they…

August 25, 2009
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If Siffy* Can Do It

I am rebranding, as for obvious reasons I must strive to appeal to a broader audience, one of sophistication, taste, and an erudite nature, as well as take myself utterly seriously as a writer. This blog shall now be known as “Hollywood Jane: The Graduate Experience,” and I’ve changed my header accordingly. Jk. LOL. Well, not about the header, but never fear, this blog won’t become stuffy or pretentious just because I’m…

August 18, 2009
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Purpose (or What I Wrote That Got Me Accepted to USC)

Picture, if you will, a twenty-three year old girl. No, a twenty-three year old woman. A woman with short brown hair, blue-grey-green-brown-yellow eyes, and hereditary multiple osteochondromatosis, a genetic condition which has left her with eleven different scars from seven different surgeries. She has a dog, a German shepherd mix, and named him after a character from her favorite science fiction show. She is a writer. The problem, you see,…

August 9, 2009
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Nora Ephron May Be My Julia Child

Every time I sit down to blog, I’m reminded of a quote from You’ve Got Mail, as said by Meg Ryan. Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book,…

August 8, 2009
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Why Modern Vampires Figuratively Suck

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June 30, 2009

I blame Anne Rice.  Never mind that I’ve never read any of her books, and my knowledge of her basically stops after, “wrote about vampires, found religion, wrote about Jesus.” She started it, this whole vampire craze. I used to be a fan, but enough is enough. Sure, vampires have been popular fodder for ages, but once you slap a pair of fangs on Brad Pitt, you can kiss the…

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