Dear Writers of “The Girls’ Guide to Comic-Con”

Dear Writers of “The Girls’ Guide to Comic-Con,” I was pointed in the direction of your article by a friend on Twitter, and just have a few comments: I’m a girl. Have been all my life. I’m also a geek. Please note that these two things are not mutually exclusive. The declaration that ‘Comic-Con is not just for nerdy boys anymore’ isn’t exactly a newsflash, and kind of ticks me…

June 15, 2009

Just Watch Me

Since I betrayed my principles and actually started watching a reality t.v. show, I’ve occasionally mentioned that I want to go on The Amazing Race – along with all the reasons why it would be a complete and utter disaster. I happened to say something to my mother about it again after Sunday’s season finale when our favorites, Tammy and Victor, won the million dollars. She replied, “You could probably…

May 13, 2009

Five Things to Consider Before Posting an Ad on Craigslist

1. Any writer who would actually respond to your ad seeking help penning that screenplay/novel/memoir/cookbook/Jewish Kama Sutra you’ve always been dreaming about is not a real writer. Real writers do not spend time writing other people’s stories when we could be playing solitaire or drinking.  No, not even if you promise us a cut of the profits if/when you sell your manuscript.  Trust me, we have plenty of our own…

March 26, 2009

The Thing About Social Networking

My mom keeps asking me why I’m on Twitter.  (Hi, Mom!) “What’s the point?”  “What does it do?” “I just don’t get it.” There’s nothing to get; there is no point.  For the first few days I tried to justify it.  It’s a means of networking, everyone in my business does it, I can attract more people to my blog.  Now?  Now I say screw it.  It’s pointless.  It’s silly. …

March 25, 2009

Hollywood Jane and the Dog Park

The small park just behind the Trader Joes and myriad of Russian shops along Santa Monica isn’t “technically” a dog park.  In fact, there’s an official green sign that insists dogs should be on leashes, and cops from the Department of Parks and Recreation drive past every so often with nothing better to do than hand out tickets, but every evening, usually after rush hour traffic has subsided, dogs and…

March 17, 2009

There's Always a Catch

The dreaded complacency was taking hold again, and figuring that might have something to do with why I’m so goddamned bored with my life, I put a renewed effort into perusing the job market (I do so love the word ‘peruse.’)  And once again the search has done nothing but make me feel like I’m completely fucked. Here is what no one bothers to tell you about the entertainment industry:…

March 13, 2009

My Academy Award Acceptance Speech for Best Screenplay

First of all, I have to thank my mother, because if I didn’t thank her first she’d never let me forget it.  And I thank my father – I have the best parents possible, who have given me every opportunity, encouraged me, and never tried to dissuade me from life as a writer, even though it probably meant I’d be living with them forever. Watching the Oscars every year as…

February 22, 2009

Still Have No Idea How I'm Going to Pay For It

Post one little picture of girls showing their thongs, and blog traffic spikes.  There must be a lot of disappointed people in cyber-space.  I added that picture for the purposes of education, not enjoyment, sorry. On a completely unrelated topic, since I’ve now decided I want to go to graduate school, that means I have to take the GRE.  I cannot think of a more pointless waste of time and…

February 20, 2009

Hollywood Jane in Chicago

So it would seem that no one is interested in paying for a middle-class white girl with two happily married, physically intact parents to go to graduate school and study creative writing.  God knows if I was legally blind and wanted a masters in crypto-biology or electrical engineering from some podunk college in the middle of  nowhere, there’s a number of places happy to oblige. A newfound determination to go…

February 19, 2009

Entering the 3RD DIMENSION!

Apparently 3-D is back – trouble is, no one missed it.  Between last year’s Journey to the Center of the Earth, this season’s heart-warmer My Bloody Valentine, and next week’s post-Superbowl “Chuck vs. the Third Dimension,” Hollywood seems to think that this 3-D is the next big thing. Yeah…maybe in the 1950s. I love Chuck and I want it to have high ratings, which is why I have a really…

January 28, 2009