Life Lessons from Morning Glories: Never Trust a Boarding School

If your kid is scouted for a fancy prep school, chances are they’ll develop weird powers, travel through time, or get murdered by the staff.

 

Morning Glories

Image Comics‘ Morning Glories has forced me to question everything I believed about fictional boarding schools for ‘special’ children with a supposedly benevolent purpose. If I had read Harry Potter after reading Morning Glories, I would have had some serious doubts about Dumbledore from the moment he said he wished for socks in the Mirror of Erised. And by book 7, I would have expected Neville Longbottom to reveal himself as Voldemort. Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters? Don’t get me started.

Morning Glories has ruined me for all other stories about institutions of learning with their own dormitories. When I started reading Mark Frost‘s The Paladin Prophecy, I found myself suspecting every adult character of nefarious purpose, and wondered how our hero Will West could possibly seek sanctuary in the creepy, Big Brother-y, Pretender-esque Center for Integrated Learning after he was practically driven into their arms by a bunch of demonic henchmen.

Thanks to Nick Spencer and Joe Eisma, I wasted precious time waiting for school counselor Dr. Robbins or athletics coach Mr. Jericho to try to kill their newest pupil. After all, just when you think there’s a student advocate amongst the staff, that’s when you discover the nicest adult on campus uses mind control to manipulate the time stream.

I wasn’t completely wrong to be on high alert; life at the Center for Integrated Learning isn’t all private bowling alleys and five-star dining. The school itself might not be out to get Will, but there is literally a lot more going on under the surface. Genetics experiments, long-buried ancient cultures, secret societies – just what you’d expect from an academy for ‘specialized’ education. It makes you wonder how anyone has any time for homework when they’re so busy fighting the conspiracies of cabals.

It seems there are benefits to a public school education.

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