In that spirit, enjoy this list of times when I have caused myself bodily harm in accidental, yet humorous, ways.
- When I was three I fell off a book case and fractured my leg.
- I scratched my cornea on a rose bush while hunting for Easter Eggs.
- At a family picnic I stuck my foot through a croquet wicket and fell, fracturing my arm.
- Can’t remember if that was before or after I tripped in my own backyard, and cracked my chin open on the cement driveway during a game of tag with my cousins.
- It was definitely before I slid down the trunk of a tree at a 45 degree angle, and braced my fall with my wrists. Despite jumping to my feet and insisting I was fine, that night I had to have my mom take me to the ER, where I discovered I’d fractured – you guessed it – my wrist.
- I was voted ‘Most Likely to Fall Off Her Bike’ at summer camp.
- Just a few years ago I concussed myself in my father’s car after I climbed in the back seat and accidentally slammed the base of my skull against the head rest.
- And just yesterday I was running the agility course with Pilot when I tripped – over my feet or his paws – and went down like a cartoon character, chin first, into the very, very hard rubber.
I felt well enough last night to join my parents in a hunt for our Christmas tree. This morning my neck rebelled. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better this evening in time for The Santaland Diaries.