Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Public Domain Kitchen Sink

A judge has ruled that Sherlock Holmes is part of the public domain in America, so it’s okay to put Arthur Conan Doyle’s characters in everything now.

sherlock holmes

We’ve got manic MMA Sherlock. We’ve got Sherlock-in-America with gender-bent Watson and Moriarty. We’ve got a modern day Sherlock obsessed with texting who recently dumped his boyfriend by faking suicide. You could even argue we have a time-traveling Sherlock whose Moriarty is headless and rides a horse. Now that we have actual permission to play with the characters as much as we like, what else should we do with the consulting detective and his long-suffering partner?

I look forward to the prehistoric version where Sherlock is a Troodon and Watson is some kind of titanosaur, and when they’re not fighting they solve mysteries about stolen raptor eggs and the cold-blooded murder of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The over-arching mystery is the impending K/T extinction event, somehow orchestrated by a consulting criminal pteranodon.

Then, of course, there’s All Dogs Go to Baker Street where Irene Adler is the Hound of the Baskervilles. Sherlock would be a border collie often faced with a ‘three-bite problem,’ and Inspector Lestrade is the Timmy who is always falling down wells.

An animated Sherlock-meets-Adventure Time is practically already in existence, if you take a look at Tumblr. Turn it into stop-motion claymation, hand it off to the writers of Community, and get Tim Burton to direct, and you have Comedy Central gold.

We’ve had Sherlock in the past, and Sherlock in the present, but what the modern TV landscape is missing is a futuristic Sherlock in space. Holmes and Watson could be detectives aboard the Baker Space Station at the fringes of our solar system, regularly hired to investigate potential First Contact situations. Sherlock, of course, does not believe in aliens, but Watson isn’t so sure…

And finally, the show I know we’ve all been waiting for: Sherlock Holmes and the Agents of SHIELD. Who wouldn’t want to watch Sherlock belittle a bunch of would-be superheroes? He’d have that Centipede problem taken care of in no time. Plus, Robert Downey Jr. could cameo as both Holmes and Tony Stark and have a snark-off with himself.

Sadly, once that happens it’s only a matter of time before Sherlock finds his way into reality programming, determining who really is the Top Chef, handily winning Big Brother by driving all other contestants away with his violin practice and habit of firing guns into the living room walls.

But you’ll never catch him on Dancing With the Stars.

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